🧘🏽♀️Close your eyes for one minute and simply notice what your mind does.Stay on the lookout for any thoughts or images, as if you were a wildlife photographer waiting for an exotic animal to emerge from the undergrowth.
If no thoughts or images appear, keep watching; sooner or later they will show themselves. Notice where those thoughts or images seem to be located: in front of you, above you, behind you, to one side of you, or within you? Once you’ve done this for a minute, open your eyes again.
❇️ What you experienced were two distinct processes going on. First there was the process of thinking —in other words, some thoughts or images appeared. Then there was the process of observing; that is, you were able to notice or observe those thoughts and images. It’s important to experience the distinction between thinking and observing.
🧘🏽♀️Whatever the urge, the first step is to notice it. (It often helps to acknowledge silently, ‘I’m having the urge to do X.’) The second step is to check in with your values: ‘Will acting on this urge help me be the person I want to be? Will it help me take my life in the direction I want?’ If the answer is yes, then go ahead and act, using that urge to guide you and give you momentum. But if the answer is no, then instead take some action that’s more in line with your values.
🌸Mindfulness is connection🌸
🔹Connection is the process of making full contact with your experience in this moment.
🔹Connection means being fully aware of your here & now experience, being interested, open & receptive to that experience.
🔹Connection is about waking up, noticing what’s happening, engaging with the world & appreciating the fullness of every moment.
🔹Connection happens through the observing self.
👉the observing self is by nature non-judgemental.
Difference between the observing self and the thinking self:
❇️the thinking self ❇️
It is the part that thinks, plans, judges, compares, creates, imagines, visualizes, analyzes, remembers, day dreams and fantasies.
🔆the observing self🔆
It is the part responsible for focus, attention and awareness. It can pay attention to your thoughts but it does not think. It registers the experience directly.
You’re watching a magnificent sunset. There are moments when all you are doing is looking at it. Your mind is quiet; there are no thoughts running through your head, you’re just registering the sensory information such as the colours of the scene. This is your observing self doing its job: observing, not thinking
When you start thinking: ‘Wow, look at all those colours! This reminds me of that sunset we saw on holiday last year. I wish I had my camera. It’s so beautiful and I am going to miss it!
🌸The more attention your observing self pays to the commentary of the thinking self, the more you lose direct contact with that sunset. The observing self is key part of Mindfulness
Based on the ACT book, the Happiness Trap)
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boundaries and the b.i.g method
Setting boundaries doesn’t come easily or naturally to a lot of people, but we can learn to set healthy boundaries.
Setting boundaries is making clear what’s okay and what’s not okay, and why.
We often feel like we need to apologize or justify when setting a boundary, but We don’t.
We need to find a way of staying true to ourselves and grounded while also feeling compassion towards others
👉This is the Brené Brown method of boundaries setting. it stands for
Boundaries, Integrity, Generosity
Living BIG is saying:
"Yes, I’m going to be generous in my assumptions and intentions while standing solidly in my integrity and being very clear about what’s acceptable and what’s not acceptable"
🤔How to start setting boundaries?
▪️identify what you want
▪️identify the motivation for setting the boundary
▪️start small by choosing just one boundary to set
▪️stay calm & use assertive communication
▪️do not apologize or justify yourself
▪️be ready for a ¨no¨as an answer
▪️be ready to maybe disappoint others
▪️use your support system
▪️trust your intuition
❇️Establishing limits and boundaries is one of the ultimate acts of self-care and self-respect❇️
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Myths around vulnerability
❇️"vulnerability is weakness"❇️
🔹vulnerability is neither good nor bad
🔹it is not a "dark" emotion
🔹it is not always comfortable
🔹it is the core of all emotions & feelings; "to feel is to be vulnerable"
🔹it is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy & creativity
🔹is the path for clarity & purpose
🔆vulnerability is uncertainty, risk & emotional exposure🔆
🧘🏽♀️We are humans beings with limits, fears and wounds. You can only accept yourself fully and truly when you are able to see that side of yours that suffer and has difficulties
🔆"I don't do vulnerability"🔆
EXPERIENCING VULNERABILITY IS NOT A CHOICE. OUR RESPONSE TO IT IS. BEING ALIVE MEANS BEING VULNERABLE.
🌸Examples of vulnerability:
▪️starting you own business
▪️saying "I love you"
▪️facing your fears
▪️being "all in"
▪️letting go of control
▪️saying no - not taking it anymore
▪️panic, anxiety, fear & hysteria followed by freedom, pride & amazement.
▪️showing up and letting yourself be seen
🌻letting ourselves sink into the ephemeral joyful moments of life is vulnerability 🌻